Brian Kantz, Buffalo, NY-based writer and editor

THE NEWBIE DAD - MAY 2007

IS A BIGGER BABY A BETTER BABY?

Is a bigger baby a better baby? Go ahead, say that 10 times fast. That’s the question I’ve been pondering since we brought our behemoth of a second child home from the hospital in January.

Baby #2 weighed in at more than nine pounds at birth. That was kind of shocking considering our first son was six pounds. It was kind of like seeing a minivan roll out of the garage after two years of driving a Miata. And now, at two months old, baby #2 weighs as much as baby #1 weighed at six months! Quite a difference.

Beyond the numbers, though, I’ve noticed that people react differently depending on the size of the baby. There’s definitely a societal bias towards big babies. People seem more boisterous around bigger babies, more willing to hold them and to proclaim them “healthy.” Smaller babies just seem more fragile to people, I guess. Have you noticed that, too?

Of course, even though I’ve given this matter some thought, I’m still as guilty as anyone. When folks ask how our new baby is doing, I don’t say, “he’s doing great.” For some unconscious reason, I automatically blurt out, “he’s huge!” I have no idea why I’m defining my baby by his size, but I am. I think most of us do.

Anyhow, to make this matter right for small babies everywhere, I thought I’d break things down with a tale of the tape. Who is better — bigger babies or smaller babies?

TALE OF THE TAPE

CLOTHING

Bigger baby: Yes, bigger babies seem to fill out their clothes better. No baggy togs here. So that would make the style gurus happy. However, they also go through clothes like crazy. Our second child was too big for all of his “0-3 months” clothes in six weeks.

Smaller baby: Smaller babies swim in their clothes. It takes a while to actually get to the baby when you’re changing his diaper. However, the financial benefits are clear.

Advantage: This definitely goes to the smaller baby. If you’re into saving money and getting the most out of your investment, you’ll love that a smaller baby can where his “0-3 months” clothes for half a year.

FOOD

Bigger baby: Bigger babies have appetites proportionate to their size — giant. Unfortunately, their appetites are also proportionate to the grocery bill — giant. When you’re bottlefeeding that can really add up. When you’re breastfeeding, ouch.

Smaller baby: Smaller baby, less formula, more money to buy daddy some potato chips. Of course, the drawback here is that smaller babies eat more often (see next point about sleep).

Advantage: Overall, this one goes to the smaller baby for financial reasons.

SLEEP

Bigger baby: Now this is not scientific fact, but in our case, the bigger baby has been the better sleeper. Give him a nice bottle before bed and it’s “see you in the morning.”

Smaller baby: Our smaller baby was precise. You could have set the atomic clock by him. Every three hours on the dot, he was up to be fed. Sleeptime for the Newbie Dad and Newbie Mom was pretty choppy.

Advantage: Bigger baby. Keep snoozin,’ kid!

NICKNAMES

Bigger baby: When I was a baby (yes, a bigger baby), my parents nicknamed me “Butterball Brian” and “Brino the Baby Rhino.” Classic. Lots of possibilities for a bigger kid.

Smaller baby: Standard here is the ubiquitous “Peanut.” For some reason, people just don’t get as creative with smaller babies.

Advantage: Bigger baby. And if you’re into sports, you know that bigger babies naturally get tagged as a “linebacker.” That sure beats calling your smaller kid “place kick holder.”

CUTENESS

Bigger baby: The only disadvantage here is for the chubby-faced kid. When I was a youngster, my brother and I would be cornered every Sunday in church by a perfumed old woman who wanted to pinch our cheeks. Still brings back shivers remembering that. I think of that every time someone wants to pinch my son’s cheeks. Poor kid.

Smaller baby: Aw, look at that little guy. So cute. Even if it’s the pity factor, he’ll take the compliment.

Advantage: C’mon now. Did you really think that I would say that one of my sons was cuter than the other? No way. They’re equally cute. In fact, all babies are cute.* (*Disclaimer: “All” does not include babies who look like aliens, cyborgs or members of the weasel family.)

OVERALL CONCLUSION

OK, looks like it’s 2-2 with a tie on cuteness. That results in an overall tie and proves that a bigger baby is not a better baby. Read this kids: bigger babies and smaller babies are equally lovable.


Brian Kantz



		© 2008 Brian Kantz • All rights reserved • Contact Brian

	THE NEWBIE DAD - MAY 2007 IS A BIGGER BABY A BETTER BABY? Is a bigger baby a better baby? Go ahead, say that 10 times fast. That’s the question I’ve been pondering since we brought our behemoth of a second child home from the hospital in January. Baby #2 weighed in at more than nine pounds at birth. That was kind of shocking considering our first son was six pounds. It was kind of like seeing a minivan roll out of the garage after two years of driving a Miata. And now, at two months old, baby #2 weighs as much as baby #1 weighed at six months! Quite a difference. Beyond the numbers, though, I’ve noticed that people react differently depending on the size of the baby. There’s definitely a societal bias towards big babies. People seem more boisterous around bigger babies, more willing to hold them and to proclaim them “healthy.” Smaller babies just seem more fragile to people, I guess. Have you noticed that, too? Of course, even though I’ve given this matter some thought, I’m still as guilty as anyone. When folks ask how our new baby is doing, I don’t say, “he’s doing great.” For some unconscious reason, I automatically blurt out, “he’s huge!” I have no idea why I’m defining my baby by his size, but I am. I think most of us do. Anyhow, to make this matter right for small babies everywhere, I thought I’d break things down with a tale of the tape. Who is better — bigger babies or smaller babies? TALE OF THE TAPE CLOTHING Bigger baby: Yes, bigger babies seem to fill out their clothes better. No baggy togs here. So that would make the style gurus happy. However, they also go through clothes like crazy. Our second child was too big for all of his “0-3 months” clothes in six weeks. Smaller baby: Smaller babies swim in their clothes. It takes a while to actually get to the baby when you’re changing his diaper. However, the financial benefits are clear. Advantage: This definitely goes to the smaller baby. If you’re into saving money and getting the most out of your investment, you’ll love that a smaller baby can where his “0-3 months” clothes for half a year. FOOD Bigger baby: Bigger babies have appetites proportionate to their size — giant. Unfortunately, their appetites are also proportionate to the grocery bill — giant. When you’re bottlefeeding that can really add up. When you’re breastfeeding, ouch. Smaller baby: Smaller baby, less formula, more money to buy daddy some potato chips. Of course, the drawback here is that smaller babies eat more often (see next point about sleep). Advantage: Overall, this one goes to the smaller baby for financial reasons. SLEEP Bigger baby: Now this is not scientific fact, but in our case, the bigger baby has been the better sleeper. Give him a nice bottle before bed and it’s “see you in the morning.” Smaller baby: Our smaller baby was precise. You could have set the atomic clock by him. Every three hours on the dot, he was up to be fed. Sleeptime for the Newbie Dad and Newbie Mom was pretty choppy. Advantage: Bigger baby. Keep snoozin,’ kid! NICKNAMES Bigger baby: When I was a baby (yes, a bigger baby), my parents nicknamed me “Butterball Brian” and “Brino the Baby Rhino.” Classic. Lots of possibilities for a bigger kid. Smaller baby: Standard here is the ubiquitous “Peanut.” For some reason, people just don’t get as creative with smaller babies. Advantage: Bigger baby. And if you’re into sports, you know that bigger babies naturally get tagged as a “linebacker.” That sure beats calling your smaller kid “place kick holder.” CUTENESS Bigger baby: The only disadvantage here is for the chubby-faced kid. When I was a youngster, my brother and I would be cornered every Sunday in church by a perfumed old woman who wanted to pinch our cheeks. Still brings back shivers remembering that. I think of that every time someone wants to pinch my son’s cheeks. Poor kid. Smaller baby: Aw, look at that little guy. So cute. Even if it’s the pity factor, he’ll take the compliment. Advantage: C’mon now. Did you really think that I would say that one of my sons was cuter than the other? No way. They’re equally cute. In fact, all babies are cute.* (*Disclaimer: “All” does not include babies who look like aliens, cyborgs or members of the weasel family.) OVERALL CONCLUSION OK, looks like it’s 2-2 with a tie on cuteness. That results in an overall tie and proves that a bigger baby is not a better baby. Read this kids: bigger babies and smaller babies are equally lovable.