Brian Kantz, Buffalo, NY-based writer and editor

THE NEWBIE DAD - JULY 2008

Chairman of the Anything-But-Bored

Well, now I’ve gone and done it. With a very slight twist of my arm, I agreed to become the new board chairman at my son’s nursery school and, in doing so, joined the long and honorable line of stay-at-home parents who have scheduled away every last second of their free time.

I guess I didn’t quite realize how these things work. Maybe it was in the fine print on the stay-at-home parent application. Of course, I never read the fine print. It probably said something like this: “Applicant: please be aware that once your child becomes involved with a school, sports activity, or extracurricular of any kind, you will become a de facto employee of that organization. There is nothing you can do about it. That’s just the way it is.”

To all of my stay-at-homies out there, I’m sure that this timeline sounds familiar. Just before our first son was born nearly four years ago, I quit my job and looked forward to my new position as a stay-at-home dad with some naiveté. Sure, I’d work hard, hawking over the baby, making sure that everything went by the book (What to Expect in the First Year, Workman Publishing). But I’d also have time for me.

Things were pretty easy back then. Feed the baby, change the baby, play with the baby, put the baby to bed. Then, do whatever the heck I wanted to do! Sometimes that meant house chores. Sometimes that meant freelance writing. Sometimes that meant kicking back with a good book or flipping on the TV to watch an afternoon baseball game.

As the kid grew a little older and became mobile, my free time began to diminish. Still, I could get up early, before the boy woke up, and do whatever the heck I wanted to do!

Baby number two came along and added his own needs to the daily agenda, but he didn’t change the schedule drastically.

The drastic change was this: my older son started a morning program at Amherst Nursery School in Snyder. The school is kind of unique. As a cooperative, the school requires that a parent or other adult spend time assisting the teacher in the classroom each month. And a parent must be willing to help with the various activities that make the school run, from fundraising to birthday hat making to cleaning the playroom. On a daily basis, an adult has to be available to drop their child off at 9 a.m. and pick them up before noon. These are committed parents, many of who have the luxury of being stay-at-home parents.

From the start, my son fell in love with the school and so did I. Wonderfully talented teachers, a super-cool curriculum and highly involved families — how could I resist? And that’s how I started falling down the slippery slope of giving up my free time. You volunteer to help set up chairs one week. Then you say, “OK” to making Rice Krispies treats. Next thing you know, you are on the board that runs the school. Finally, you show up at a meeting and everyone looks at you and asks: “So you want to be the chairman next year, don’t you?”

Facing that direct question, I rubbed my forehead and said, “Let me think about it.” And I did think about it. Am I really the right guy for the job? Do I want to make this big of a time commitment? Couldn’t someone else do it? A short time later, I made it official: “Yes, I accept.”

Yes, I accept that my free time is no longer my own. Yes, I accept that I’m a stay-at-home parent with about 10 different job titles and more than a few responsibilities. Yes, I accept that I’d do anything for my kids, especially when it involves a school that you really, really believe in.

I know that there are so many of you out there, you crazy-involved moms and dads. You represent what Western New York is all about. Family and friends come first around here. And that doesn’t just happen. It takes effort. It takes commitment. And it doesn’t always come with a whole lot of recognition. As a parent, though, it’s worth every minute to take your turn and be involved on behalf of your kids, even if it does mean giving up some of that free time you used to love so much.


Brian Kantz



		© 2008 Brian Kantz • All rights reserved • Contact Brian

	THE NEWBIE DAD - JULY 2008 Chairman of the Anything-But-Bored Well, now I’ve gone and done it. With a very slight twist of my arm, I agreed to become the new board chairman at my son’s nursery school and, in doing so, joined the long and honorable line of stay-at-home parents who have scheduled away every last second of their free time. I guess I didn’t quite realize how these things work. Maybe it was in the fine print on the stay-at-home parent application. Of course, I never read the fine print. It probably said something like this: “Applicant: please be aware that once your child becomes involved with a school, sports activity, or extracurricular of any kind, you will become a de facto employee of that organization. There is nothing you can do about it. That’s just the way it is.” To all of my stay-at-homies out there, I’m sure that this timeline sounds familiar. Just before our first son was born nearly four years ago, I quit my job and looked forward to my new position as a stay-at-home dad with some naiveté. Sure, I’d work hard, hawking over the baby, making sure that everything went by the book (What to Expect in the First Year, Workman Publishing). But I’d also have time for me. Things were pretty easy back then. Feed the baby, change the baby, play with the baby, put the baby to bed. Then, do whatever the heck I wanted to do! Sometimes that meant house chores. Sometimes that meant freelance writing. Sometimes that meant kicking back with a good book or flipping on the TV to watch an afternoon baseball game. As the kid grew a little older and became mobile, my free time began to diminish. Still, I could get up early, before the boy woke up, and do whatever the heck I wanted to do! Baby number two came along and added his own needs to the daily agenda, but he didn’t change the schedule drastically. The drastic change was this: my older son started a morning program at Amherst Nursery School in Snyder. The school is kind of unique. As a cooperative, the school requires that a parent or other adult spend time assisting the teacher in the classroom each month. And a parent must be willing to help with the various activities that make the school run, from fundraising to birthday hat making to cleaning the playroom. On a daily basis, an adult has to be available to drop their child off at 9 a.m. and pick them up before noon. These are committed parents, many of who have the luxury of being stay-at-home parents. From the start, my son fell in love with the school and so did I. Wonderfully talented teachers, a super-cool curriculum and highly involved families — how could I resist? And that’s how I started falling down the slippery slope of giving up my free time. You volunteer to help set up chairs one week. Then you say, “OK” to making Rice Krispies treats. Next thing you know, you are on the board that runs the school. Finally, you show up at a meeting and everyone looks at you and asks: “So you want to be the chairman next year, don’t you?” Facing that direct question, I rubbed my forehead and said, “Let me think about it.” And I did think about it. Am I really the right guy for the job? Do I want to make this big of a time commitment? Couldn’t someone else do it? A short time later, I made it official: “Yes, I accept.” Yes, I accept that my free time is no longer my own. Yes, I accept that I’m a stay-at-home parent with about 10 different job titles and more than a few responsibilities. Yes, I accept that I’d do anything for my kids, especially when it involves a school that you really, really believe in. I know that there are so many of you out there, you crazy-involved moms and dads. You represent what Western New York is all about. Family and friends come first around here. And that doesn’t just happen. It takes effort. It takes commitment. And it doesn’t always come with a whole lot of recognition. As a parent, though, it’s worth every minute to take your turn and be involved on behalf of your kids, even if it does mean giving up some of that free time you used to love so much.